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Also, in our interviews, we found that individuals who improved their external self-awareness did so by looking for out feedback from loving critics that is, individuals who have their benefits in mind and want to inform them the truth. To guarantee they don't overreact or overcorrect based on a single person's opinion, they also gut-check difficult or surprising feedback with others.

What much better way to know ourselves than by showing on why we are the way we are? Yet among the most surprising findings of our research is that individuals who introspect are less self-aware and report even worse task satisfaction and wellness. Other research study has revealed comparable patterns.

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To understand this, let's take a look at perhaps the most common reflective concern: "Why?" We ask this when attempting to understand our feelings (Why do I like worker A so much more than worker B?), or our behavior (Why did I fly off the manage with that employee?), or our mindsets (Why am I so versus this offer?).

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As it turns out, "why" is a surprisingly inadequate self-awareness concern. Research has actually revealed that we simply do not have access to numerous of the unconscious ideas, feelings, and intentions we're looking for. And because so much is trapped outside of our conscious awareness, we tend to invent responses that feel true however are typically incorrect.

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As a result, the problem with asking why isn't just how wrong we are, but how positive We are that we are. The human mind hardly ever operates in a rational style, and our judgments are rarely devoid of predisposition. We tend to strike on whatever "insights" we discover without questioning their credibility or value, we ignore contradictory proof, and we require our thoughts to adhere to our initial explanations.

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In our research, we've found that individuals who are really introspective are likewise most likely to get caught in ruminative patterns. For example, if a worker who gets a bad performance review asks Why did I get such a bad rating?, they're most likely to land on an explanation focused on their worries, shortcomings, or insecurities, instead of a logical assessment of their strengths and weaknesses.

Certainly, there was a clear pattern: Although the word "why" appeared fewer than 150 times, the word "what" appeared more than 1,000 times. Therefore, to increase efficient self-insight and decrease unproductive rumination, we ought to ask what, not why. "What" concerns assist us remain unbiased, future-focused, and empowered to act on our brand-new insights.

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Rather of asking "Why did you say this about me?," Robin asked, "What are the actions I need to take in the future to do a much better task?" This helped them move to services rather than concentrating on the unproductive patterns of the past. Self-awareness isn't one truth. It's a delicate balance of two distinct, even completing, perspectives.

In the beginning, all he could ask himself was "Why wasn't I able to turn things around?" He rapidly realized that he didn't have the time or energy to beat himself up he had to figure out what to do next. He began asking, "What do I require to do to progress in such a way that minimizes the impact to our consumers and workers?" He produced a strategy, and was able to find creative methods to do as much great for others as possible while winding down the business.

These qualitative findings have actually been strengthened by others' quantitative research study. In one study, psychologists J. Gregory Hixon and William Swann provided a group of undergrads negative feedback on a test of their "sociability, likability and interestingness." Some were given time to think of why they were the kind of person they were, while others were asked to think about what sort of individual they were.

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Hixon and Swann's rather strong conclusion was that "Believing about why one is the way one is may be no much better than not thinking of one's self at all." All of this brings us to conclude: Leaders who concentrate on building both internal and external self-awareness, who look for honest feedback from loving critics, and who ask what instead of why can discover to see themselves more plainly and enjoy the lots of benefits that increased self-knowledge delivers.

That's one of the important things that makes the journey to self-awareness so interesting.