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In our interviews, we found that people who improved their external self-awareness did so by seeking out feedback from caring critics that is, people who have their finest interests in mind and are willing to tell them the reality. To ensure they don't overreact or overcorrect based upon one person's opinion, they likewise gut-check difficult or surprising feedback with others.

What much better way to know ourselves than by showing on why we are the method we are? Yet among the most surprising findings of our research is that individuals who introspect are less self-aware and report worse job fulfillment and wellness. Other research has shown similar patterns.

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To understand this, let's look at probably the most typical introspective concern: "Why?" We ask this when attempting to comprehend our feelings (Why do I like staff member A a lot more than staff member B?), or our behavior (Why did I fly off the manage with that worker?), or our attitudes (Why am I so against this offer?).

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As it ends up, "why" is a remarkably ineffective self-awareness question. Research has actually revealed that we simply do not have access to a lot of the unconscious thoughts, feelings, and intentions we're searching for. And because so much is caught beyond our mindful awareness, we tend to develop responses that feel true but are often wrong.

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Subsequently, the issue with asking why isn't simply how incorrect we are, however how positive We are that we are. The human mind rarely runs in a reasonable fashion, and our judgments are rarely devoid of bias. We tend to pounce on whatever "insights" we find without questioning their credibility or value, we overlook contradictory evidence, and we require our thoughts to conform to our preliminary explanations.

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In our research study, we have actually discovered that individuals who are very introspective are also most likely to get caught in ruminative patterns. If a staff member who receives a bad efficiency review asks Why did I get such a bad rating?, they're most likely to arrive on an explanation focused on their worries, shortcomings, or insecurities, rather than a logical assessment of their strengths and weaknesses.

There was a clear pattern: Although the word "why" appeared fewer than 150 times, the word "what" appeared more than 1,000 times. To increase efficient self-insight and reduce unproductive rumination, we need to ask what, not why. "What" concerns assist us remain unbiased, future-focused, and empowered to act upon our new insights.

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Instead of asking "Why did you state this about me?," Robin inquired, "What are the actions I need to take in the future to do a better task?" This helped them transfer to solutions rather than focusing on the ineffective patterns of the past. Self-awareness isn't one truth. It's a fragile balance of 2 unique, even completing, viewpoints.

In the beginning, all he could ask himself was "Why wasn't I able to turn things around?" He quickly realized that he didn't have the time or energy to beat himself up he had to figure out what to do next. He began asking, "What do I require to do to move forward in such a way that lessens the impact to our consumers and employees?" He developed a strategy, and was able to discover creative methods to do as much helpful for others as possible while winding down the service.

These qualitative findings have actually been reinforced by others' quantitative research study. In one research study, psychologists J. Gregory Hixon and William Swann provided a group of undergrads negative feedback on a test of their "sociability, likability and interestingness." Some were provided time to consider why they were the sort of individual they were, while others were asked to consider what sort of individual they were.

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Hixon and Swann's rather vibrant conclusion was that "Considering why one is the way one is may be no much better than not believing about one's self at all." All of this brings us to conclude: Leaders who focus on building both internal and external self-awareness, who look for truthful feedback from caring critics, and who ask what instead of why can learn to see themselves more plainly and reap the numerous benefits that increased self-knowledge provides.

That's one of the important things that makes the journey to self-awareness so amazing.