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Similarly, in our interviews, we found that people who improved their external self-awareness did so by seeking out feedback from caring critics that is, individuals who have their benefits in mind and are prepared to inform them the fact. To guarantee they don't overreact or overcorrect based on a single person's viewpoint, they likewise gut-check difficult or unexpected feedback with others.

After all, what better method to understand ourselves than by assessing why we are the way we are? Yet among the most unexpected findings of our research is that people who introspect are less self-aware and report worse task satisfaction and wellness. Other research has shown similar patterns.

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To comprehend this, let's look at perhaps the most common introspective question: "Why?" We ask this when trying to comprehend our emotions (Why do I like employee A a lot more than worker B?), or our behavior (Why did I fly off the handle with that worker?), or our attitudes (Why am I so against this deal?).

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As it ends up, "why" is a surprisingly ineffective self-awareness concern. Research has revealed that we merely do not have access to many of the unconscious thoughts, sensations, and motives we're browsing for. And due to the fact that a lot is trapped outside of our mindful awareness, we tend to develop answers that feel true but are often incorrect.

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Subsequently, the problem with asking why isn't just how wrong we are, however how positive we are that we are right. The human mind seldom operates in a rational fashion, and our judgments are rarely totally free from bias. We tend to attack on whatever "insights" we find without questioning their validity or worth, we disregard contradictory proof, and we force our ideas to adhere to our preliminary explanations.

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In our research, we have actually discovered that people who are very reflective are also more likely to get caught in ruminative patterns. If an employee who gets a bad performance evaluation asks Why did I get such a bad rating?, they're most likely to arrive at a description concentrated on their fears, drawbacks, or insecurities, rather than a reasonable evaluation of their strengths and weak points.

Undoubtedly, there was a clear pattern: Although the word "why" appeared less than 150 times, the word "what" appeared more than 1,000 times. For that reason, to increase productive self-insight and reduce ineffective rumination, we ought to ask what, not why. "What" questions help us stay unbiased, future-focused, and empowered to act on our new insights.

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Instead of asking "Why did you say this about me?," Robin inquired, "What are the actions I require to take in the future to do a much better task?" This assisted them transfer to solutions rather than concentrating on the unproductive patterns of the past. Self-awareness isn't one truth. It's a fragile balance of two distinct, even competing, viewpoints.

At initially, all he could ask himself was "Why wasn't I able to turn things around?" However he quickly recognized that he didn't have the time or energy to beat himself up he needed to find out what to do next. He began asking, "What do I need to do to move forward in a manner that decreases the impact to our clients and staff members?" He produced a plan, and was able to discover innovative methods to do as much helpful for others as possible while winding down the organization.

These qualitative findings have actually been reinforced by others' quantitative research study. In one research study, psychologists J. Gregory Hixon and William Swann provided a group of undergrads unfavorable feedback on a test of their "sociability, likability and interestingness." Some were given time to consider why they were the sort of individual they were, while others were asked to think about what type of individual they were.

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Hixon and Swann's rather strong conclusion was that "Thinking of why one is the way one is might be no better than not considering one's self at all." All of this brings us to conclude: Leaders who concentrate on building both internal and external self-awareness, who seek honest feedback from caring critics, and who ask what instead of why can learn to see themselves more clearly and gain the numerous rewards that increased self-knowledge delivers.

That is among the things that makes the journey to self-awareness so exciting.