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Likewise, in our interviews, we found that people who enhanced their external self-awareness did so by looking for feedback from loving critics that is, people who have their benefits in mind and are willing to tell them the reality. To ensure they do not overreact or overcorrect based on one person's opinion, they also gut-check hard or unexpected feedback with others.

After all, what better way to understand ourselves than by reviewing why we are the way we are? One of the most surprising findings of our research study is that people who introspect are less self-aware and report even worse job satisfaction and wellness. Other research has actually shown comparable patterns.

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To comprehend this, let's take a look at perhaps the most typical reflective concern: "Why?" We ask this when attempting to understand our feelings (Why do I like employee A so much more than staff member B?), or our habits (Why did I fly off the handle with that staff member?), or our mindsets (Why am I so against this deal?).

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As it ends up, "why" is a remarkably inefficient self-awareness question. Research study has shown that we simply do not have access to a lot of the unconscious ideas, sensations, and intentions we're looking for. And due to the fact that a lot is caught outside of our conscious awareness, we tend to create responses that feel true however are often incorrect.

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The problem with asking why isn't simply how incorrect we are, but how confident we are that we are right. The human mind hardly ever operates in a logical fashion, and our judgments are rarely devoid of bias. We tend to pounce on whatever "insights" we find without questioning their credibility or worth, we ignore contradictory proof, and we require our thoughts to conform to our initial descriptions.

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In our research study, we've discovered that people who are very introspective are likewise more likely to get captured in ruminative patterns. For instance, if a staff member who receives a bad performance evaluation asks Why did I get such a bad ranking?, they're most likely to land on a description concentrated on their worries, drawbacks, or insecurities, instead of a reasonable assessment of their strengths and weak points.

Certainly, there was a clear pattern: Although the word "why" appeared less than 150 times, the word "what" appeared more than 1,000 times. For that reason, to increase productive self-insight and decrease unproductive rumination, we should ask what, not why. "What" questions help us stay objective, future-focused, and empowered to act on our new insights.

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Rather of asking "Why did you state this about me?," Robin inquired, "What are the steps I need to take in the future to do a better job?" This assisted them move to services rather than focusing on the ineffective patterns of the past. Self-awareness isn't one reality. It's a delicate balance of 2 unique, even completing, perspectives.

At first, all he could ask himself was "Why wasn't I able to turn things around?" He rapidly realized that he didn't have the time or energy to beat himself up he had to figure out what to do next. He began asking, "What do I require to do to move on in a manner that reduces the effect to our clients and employees?" He developed a plan, and had the ability to discover innovative methods to do as much good for others as possible while unwinding business.

These qualitative findings have been reinforced by others' quantitative research study. In one research study, psychologists J. Gregory Hixon and William Swann gave a group of undergraduates unfavorable feedback on a test of their "sociability, likability and interestingness." Some were provided time to think about why they were the type of individual they were, while others were asked to consider what kind of person they were.

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Hixon and Swann's rather vibrant conclusion was that "Considering why one is the method one is may be no better than not thinking about one's self at all." All of this brings us to conclude: Leaders who focus on building both internal and external self-awareness, who seek honest feedback from caring critics, and who ask what instead of why can discover to see themselves more plainly and reap the many benefits that increased self-knowledge delivers.

That's one of the things that makes the journey to self-awareness so interesting.